Consultant of the Year

Anyone can do something. But only a true professional can do nothing and still get paid for it.

Step 1: Gain Trust

Speak confidently. Use foreign words. “Synergistic paradigm” sounds better than “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Step 2: Listen

The client talks. You nod. Occasionally say “interesting” or “that makes sense.”

Step 3: Suggest Another Meeting

Never present solutions. Always suggest another meeting. “We need to discuss this in more detail.”

Step 4: Invoice

For your time. For your opinion. For your contribution. Even if you contributed nothing.

Ethics?

The client is satisfied. You’re satisfied. Where’s the problem?

Conclusion

Consulting isn’t about solving problems. It’s about making clients feel better. And we’re masters at that.